Where Have You Been, Mitch!?

Just as bears are known to hibernate for up to 7.5 months during the winter, I have just emerged from a deep blogging hibernation that lasted through the summer.

Why, you ask?

Great question. Allow me to explain a little bit about where I’ve been and what I’ve been up to. Basically, I think we can just sum it up like this:

The biggest reason why I decided to go into blogging hibernation is because throughout April – July, I experienced the biggest flare since I started AIP 2 years ago. This really rocked my world** and the worst part about it was the severe brain fog I experienced. It was difficult for me to drive, work, cook, or even form complete sentences (let alone write a coherent blog post). There were many times I felt as if I’d never get better or get back to how I felt just a short few months beforehand. I felt like I was constantly wading through mud, my coordination and focus was essentially non-existent, and I had just about zero lust for life.

**I am forever grateful for my supportive fiance and family for helping me during this time, as Britt carried much of our household’s burden of cooking, cleaning, etc., and my Father flew up from Florida to spend 10 days helping us out around the house, driving me to work and meal prepping. Also a big shoutout to my AIP friends and community – I can’t even explain how amazing it is to be able to turn to people who understand what you’re going through.

There were several reasons for my flare-up, and I cannot pretend for a moment that all of them were purely physical, as our bodies try to talk to us more than we can imagine.

I wanted to give you a run-down of what I was experiencing though, both physically and emotionally, in hopes that sharing can help you see that healing is never linear and that even if you have the proper diet in place and seem to be managing your disease just fine, you still have to listen to your body and be willing to accept the consequences if you don’t.

Adrenal Fatigue

Apparently, my adrenals were also hibernating, or just straight up quit their day (and night) jobs during this time, because an adrenal saliva test revealed that that $hit was off the richter scale in terms of adrenal malfunctioning. I felt exhausted when I should feel awake and I felt jolted when I should have been winding down. I was strung-out, highly irritable, and a laundry list of other symptoms that you can figure out for yourself by taking this Adrenal Fatigue Quiz. With the support of my new doctor, I immediately began an adrenal healing protocol, which included supplements (like licorice root, adrenotone, pregnenolone and DHEA), and very low-stimulation diet and lifestyle. I also took a ton of vitamin C (adrenals love vitamin C) and I took to a carb-cycling diet (similar to the one proposed in The Adrenal Reset Diet – I just used AIP-friendly carbs), which helped immensely.

Emotional side of this: During this time, I was running on all cylinders. I had started a new job and moved all within 6 months of my symptoms starting up again, and I was incredibly scrapped for time. I was also frantically trying to save up money for some larger plans I had for me and Britt (aka I wanted to propose), so I was taking LOTS of freelance work on the side. It felt like every single minute of my time was either spent working, or thinking about working, or trying to get more work, and in that, I neglected myself and my health. And of course, when you are constantly in a state of stress (fight or flight), your adrenals are going to suffer greatly.

Brain Fog

I basically just lovingly nicknamed myself “Derp” during this time, because that’s how I felt for a solid 4 months. One day I even forgot my own address while trying to recover my forgotten credit card login information, and had to be like “Ok I swear I’m not trying to hack into this person’s account, it’s just that I…recently….moved?? omgimgoingtojailokbye.” Thankfully, one of my doctors started me on NADH and CoQ10 though, and this was like MAGIC. Seriously. It was the only thing that lifted my brain fog and for a while is basically the only thing that got me through work those couple of months.

Emotional side of this: One of my favorite books is “Messages from the Body” by Dr. Michael J. Lincoln. This is like an encyclopedia (no seriously, it’s like 725 pages) of physical symptoms, ailments and diseases, and their corresponding psychological/emotional symptoms. Its explanation for brain fog and some types of brain troubles is “feeling in over your head” or like you’re “drowning.” Um, check and check. If you read my explanation above, you’ll understand just how stressed and pressured I felt during this time. I also mentioned how I had started a new job, where, at the time, I felt WAY in over my head (it was a little outside my comfort zone) and like I was truly drowning in work. While I am in no way dismissing the physical causes of brain fog, this explanation also resonated so deeply with me, I knew there had to be something to it.

Blood Sugar Regulation

Before my flare-up really kicked in, I was riding the sugar train pretty hard, guys. In fact, I was probably the conductor of the sugar train. And where did that train take me? Down a path to nowhere, folks. Just a reminder that AIP- or paleo-friendly sugar is still sugar. Don’t be fooled by this. Limit your treats and goodies, even if they are AIP-friendly, and I guarantee you you’ll feel so much better mentally. I did a sugar detox during this time and while it was very challenging (the last thing you want to do when you feel like you have zero energy is cut out your last saving grace of stimulation), but it was so incredibly worth it. At the end of my 21 days (I still allowed low-sugar fruits during this time), I felt like a whole new man.

Emotional side of this: As we all know, sugar is a type of comfort blanket. What made us feel better when we were kids? Popsicles and Jell-O. What’s comforting when we’re sad and overwhelmed (and can’t have wine)? Ice cream. So it makes sense that if I was feeling depressed, overwhelmed and overworked, that I would turn to the one thing that might help me feel just a little bit better. In that, I don’t blame myself. But it did cause me to take a look at where I was “lacking” in my life and what voids I was trying to make sugar fill for me.

So there you have it – a quick analysis of the main things my relapse consisted of. Honestly I could probably go on for hours talking about all the minutia of what I was feeling and experiencing during this time, but I figured the “Reader’s Digest” version would suffice for today’s purposes.

Now that I am on the other side of things (well, for the most part), I can truly say that I am thankful for this most recent flare-up. Sometimes – even if you spend a ton of time teaching others how to take care of themselves – it’s hard to see how run-down you are becoming and how hard you are pushing yourself. It’s difficult to notice how misaligned you are becoming and how much your body needs you to listen. And when you refuse to notice the subtle nudges, your body will speak to you louder and louder until it gets your attention. And that is what happened to me.

It allowed me to take a break from things and look in the mirror to figure out what was really bothering me. It forced me to take a critical look at my life, my actions and my thoughts. And it reconnected me to a side of myself that I had sort of put a damper on – that spiritual, awakened side of myself that I’d allowed to become overrun by the “burdens of life.”

Today it feels great to be back, and I feel like I have a new zest for blogging and clarity on the messages I want to help spread about healing from autoimmunity. And I think you’ll enjoy it.

So – let’s get back to being weird together, learning and growing, healing and helping each other up from setbacks, and most importantly – following our instincts…like this guy!

Er – ok well maybe not like this guy. 🙂

But thanks for reading and bearing (pun! zing!) with me these past few months. I’m excited to see where we can all go together from here.