This is Part 2 of our “Total Wellness Pyramid” series, where we discuss my philosophy for achieving total wellness through Physical and Lifestyle, Mental and Emotional, and Spiritual wellbeing tips. In this post, we’ll be discussing the second “level” of the pyramid: Mental and Emotional wellbeing.

As we move onto the next “level” of the healing pyramid, we are encountered with a bit deeper topic than physical healing: Emotional and Mental healing.

This isn’t just “deeper” in the sense that it’s tougher to talk about and explain (although that’s certainly true, too), but it’s also deeper in the way that our physical, emotional and mental bodies are situated, with physical being obviously as close to the body as possible, then mental and emotional (energetic) “bodies” follow soon after.

The reason this is important to understand, and I’ve written about this before, is that healing can’t happen only at the physical level because disease does not originate or exist solely at the physical level. In fact, it is my belief after studying many Eastern and Western traditions and modalities, that disease begins in what we consider to be the “outer” realms, and that by the time it has manifested as a physical illness it’s already gone through stages of spiritual, emotional and mental existence.

The reason that we “work backwards” though is that I have found in my coaching and also my individual healing, that it’s really hard to deal with the emotional and mental (and spiritual) aspects of healing when you’re in pain all day, or have severe brain fog, have swollen joints, are exhausted, etc. Likewise, it’s really hard to address the “spiritual” aspects of healing if you are still struggling to break through cycles of shame and blame, feelings of guilt, self-criticism, or severe depression or anxiety.

So, while my opinion is that the disease process actually evolves this way:

Spiritual  Emotional  Mental  Physical

I think that we do have to address it in reverse order so that we can sort of “unravel” this, working from the center outward. This is why the IW Healing Pyramid is constructed as:

Physical  Mental and Emotional  Spiritual

 

For starters

It may be difficult at first to hear that you have to not only put out the fires in your body (so to speak), but now we have to work through putting out fires in our mental and emotional spheres. I understand, trust me. This has taken me a long time to work through and even to this day I am seeing a therapist who is helping me dive even deeper into issues from my past. We are complex, multi-faceted beings and as such, there are many “layers” that we have to peel back. This takes time and self-compassion, and it doesn’t happen overnight.

What I aim to do through this next section is to just give you some starting points though, some things to think about. My sincere hope is that you’ll be curious and open enough to examine some of these things within yourself and “do the work” to dig deep and look inward, whatever that may entail for you on your personal journey.

I also recommend working with a licensed mental health practitioner as you move through this healing, and I kindly remind you that I am not a licensed mental health counselor or psychologist. As usual with this blog, I am simply here to share information that I’ve gathered throughout the years on my own personal journey with autoimmunity in hopes that sharing my path can help further yours.
 

Radical self-acceptance

When I thought about writing this post, it was really overwhelming. I mean honestly, I could write an entire book on this topic (and maybe I will one day), so to write something in a somewhat concise manner was going to be challenging.

I thought about what the main goal of mental and emotional healing was for me, and I think it was this: Learning to love and accept myself for exactly who I am.

This makes sense to me because if you think about it, what really is an autoimmune condition? I mean literally – what are the mechanisms of the illness, what is happening in your body?

Well…autoimmune disease is when your body is literally fighting against itself; in a way, it’s rejecting itself. It’s not accepting itself (we’re not accepting ourselves).

So, everything I did when trying to put the pieces back together and heal through this area, was to:

• Work through and let go of old traumas that had scabbed over my sense of self-worth and ability to love and nurture myself,
• Forgive myself for not being perfect or not being “enough”,
• Forgive others for hurting me, dismissing me, or damaging me in any way,
• Learn to love and accept my body, and learn to TRUST my body

As you can imagine, this is much easier to type out than to actually do! Many of us with autoimmune conditions share common personality traits; certain things that bond us together.

It’s my understanding that we are a sensitive and empathic people, which means that we may also be more susceptible to holding onto trauma and internalizing other people’s criticisms, judgements, side glances, harsh words, or rejections. As such, it’s up to us to reclaim our personal power, soothe ourselves and mend our wounds that may have built up over the years.

Below are the general steps I took as part of this process, and an associated “resource” that could be of help to you. Please know that this is not a magic bullet solution (wouldn’t it be nice if there was one of those?) and every single one of you will have a different process that YOU have to go through based on your history, ability to manage and process stress, etc. But this is a similar framework to what I used and so maybe it could at least be used as a starting point for you. 🙂

1. Making peace with being here, on this planet, in this family, in this body
   Suggested resource: Inspiration by Wayne Dyer

2. Letting go of shame that you’ve carried throughout the years
   Suggested resource: Letting Go of Shame by Ronald and Patricia Potter-Efron
   
3. Working through and making sense of past traumas
   Suggested resources: working with qualified therapists over the years, in addition to trying things like EFT, re-framing, and prayer. I also used positive healing affirmations that I feel helped change my perspective over time and inject positivity into my life.
4. Cultivating a sense of self-love and self-care
   Suggested resource: you can use my free downloadable Guide to Self-Love if you’d like, or there are tons of blog posts and resources out there nowadays on cultivating self-love and self-care including work from Brene Brown like this podcast episode or my favorite, her new Netflix special called Call To Courage.
5. Re-examine your childhood and parenting through
   Suggested resource: Running on Empty by Jonice Webb PhD, a book which I strongly feel will resonate with most of us struggling with autoimmune conditions.
6. Became curious and questioned my concept of food/diet, body image and weight/size, and found compassion for myself like I’d never known
   Suggested resource: The F*ck it Diet by Caroline Dooner was honestly life-changing for me. It completely shifted the way that I perceive my body, diet culture, and my relationship to food.  I’m also now working with an Intuitive Eating / Health At Every Size (search #haes if interested on Instagram to discover lots of great information) counselor who is helping me reshape my relationship to food in a safe and nurturing environment.
7. Moved through like 1,000 years (hehe) of trauma, limiting belief systems and unhelpful inner monologs and behaviors
   Suggested resource: The Presence Process by Michael Brown. This book is not for the faint of heart, but it will likely change your life if you’re willing to lean into it. It’s the last step in the process for a reason, but if you’re feeling particularly “called” to it then go for it!

These are just some of the books, resources and voices that I listened to and learned from along the way. I challenged myself, stretched myself further than I ever thought possible (PS you are braver than you think and stronger than you know), and am so thankful I chose to do so because I truly believe if I hadn’t gone through that and processed those old emotions, they’d still be pent up inside my body and wreaking havoc. After all, there are connections between autoimmune conditions and unresolved emotions!
 

Final thoughts

I hope this post helps to orient you and gives you some potential places to start on your journey to emotional and mental wellbeing. Remember the goal of radical self-acceptance, as that is the underlying mental and emotional key to healing autoimmunity.

Ask yourself the tough questions: What is holding me back from liking myself? From being thankful for this life? From fully participating and showing up in my life? In what ways do I reject myself? In what ways do I not accept myself and my body fully for who/what they are? Why am I afraid to let go? Do I feel that it’s safe to trust? Why or why not?

I don’t know what you’ve been through or the story you have to tell. But I know that for me, asking these questions and staring them straight in the face helped me more than any diet or supplement ever did. Because I realized that until I addressed the underlying issue of internal rejection, my body would always be a reflection of that inner turmoil.

May peace be with you on your journey to emotional and mental freedom. And may this lead you to an openness and hunger for the final piece of our Total Wellness Pyramid: spiritual healing and connection. Stay tuned.